Not a yippy little dog that makes you think, “Aw. You think you’re cute? Well, when your owner’s not looking, I’m going to punt you off this balcony.”

But a reasonably-sized dog that could tear an intruder’s arm off if need be.

Kinda [...]]]> If I spent more time at home, we’d have a dog.

Not a yippy little dog that makes you think, “Aw. You think you’re cute? Well, when your owner’s not looking, I’m going to punt you off this balcony.”

But a reasonably-sized dog that could tear an intruder’s arm off if need be.

Kinda like Jansen’s, minus the drool. Or this guy:

Why am I talking about this?

Well, (a) it’s an ongoing discussion between Mrs. Sherpa and me, and (b) Above the Law posted this discussion last night. (And I had to get that health care post out of the top spot on the homepage.)

What is the best pet for lawyers (or law students)?

At ATL, Elie Mystal mentions all the things that make me a “dog person” and describes cats perfectly:

Sure, when a dog “loves” you, it’s really thinking something like, “I hope he has some chicken. Do I smell chicken? Chickenchickenbaconwithchicken … oh look I can pee on that.” But what the dog is actually thinking doesn’t matter. All that matters is that the animal has been designed to make you feel good about yourself.

Not so with the cat. No, the cat is a tiny predator that has been shrunk to fit into our homes. It doesn’t need you, it doesn’t really want to be there, and it would just as soon kill you as look at you. Cats are sneaky and deceptive. To them, you’re just a monkey to be scavenged from. While you’re sleeping, your cat is thinking of ways to end you. As I said, you can get a wife if you like sleeping with one eye open.

Now, tell me what lawyers need more? Another malefactor looking to destroy them, or the unconditional love they’ll never get from work? It seems obvious to me. Lawyers have enough enemies and saboteurs in their life. And they’re lonely. What they need is a best friend.

Yes, I do prefer a shallow animal.

I also prefer an animal that’s been bred to love and protect me and my family, rather than loathe and despise me.

The former is there to serve me. The latter expects to be served, but if you just leave the food doesn’t really even care about you at all.

As Cesar Milan would say: I prefer to be the pack leader in my home, rather than a mere inconvenience, a necessary evil that provides food, to a pint-sized predator.

So how about it cat people? Why am I wrong?

While I remember some big snows early in life when my family lived in the Poconos, I don’t think I’ve seen a bigger snowfall where I live. I will say [...]]]> On Sunday morning, I measured 25 inches of snow on my car. We’re allegedly supposed to get 10 more inches today and tomorrow. We’ll see.

While I remember some big snows early in life when my family lived in the Poconos, I don’t think I’ve seen a bigger snowfall where I live. I will say the 21 inches we got in Pennsylvania in 1994(?) yielded the most epic series of snow football games the Keystone State has ever, or will ever, see. We’re talking the 11-on-11, 5-hour, triple-overtime, smashmouth variety.

So anyway, Sunday morning. I spent a few hours shoveling out our cars. At our complex we get one reserved space and a permit to park in an unreserved guest spot. Upon shoveling out the guest space where I’d parked on Friday, I got this overwhelming fear that I never wanted to leave that space. Looking around, there were a bunch of empty guest spaces that yet to be shoveled at all. What if I left to pick some stuff up, and came back and my space was taken? Two-and-a-half hours of work wasted.

Of course, you can do this…

That’s obnoxious to me. But my sense of entitlement to the space I had cleared only grew. And placing a chair there only seemed more reasonable, the more I thought about it.

I realized that I was experiencing a mind meld with John Locke. His labor theory of property holds, poorly paraphrased, that a natural right to property flows to those who invest labor in improving it. That right includes the right to exclude others, those who did not participate in improving the property. This right creates a positive encouragement to engage in improving property which, in turn, has benefits (albeit somewhat minimal) to the community at large. The idea is that because man owns himself, he owns the product of his labor and it should not be taken from him by force or by sneaky, parking space stealing, good-for-nothing neighbors who should shovel out their own space and reserve it with their own lawn chair. (It seems I’m not the only one to point this out in the wake of the weekend’s snowstorm.)

By the authority of John Locke, therefore, I exert my natural rights over guest space #10 at our condominium complex.

Take that, you parking spot stealing bitches.

Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more;
Or close the wall up with our transfer students.
In peace there’s nothing so becomes a student
As [...]]]> Happy New Semester! I’m sure it will be far better than spending time with your family and friends. Here’s some poorly modified verse for motivation.

Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more;
Or close the wall up with our transfer students.
In peace there’s nothing so becomes a student
As modest stillness and humility:
But when the blast of class blows in our ears,
Then imitate the action of the tiger;
Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood,
Disguise fair nature with hard-favour’d rage;
Then lend the eye a terrible aspect;
Let pry through the portage of the head
Like the brass cannon; let the brow o’erwhelm it
As fearfully as doth a galled rock
O’erhang and jutty his confounded base,
Swill’d with the wild and wasteful ocean.
Now set the teeth and stretch the nostril wide,
Hold hard the breath and bend up every spirit
To his full height. On, on, you noblest Student.
Whose blood is fet from fathers of class-proof!
Fathers that, like so many Cardozas,
Have in these parts from morn till even fought
And sheathed their pen for lack of argument:
Dishonour not your mothers; now attest
That those whom you call’d fathers did beget you.
Be copy now to men of grosser blood,
And teach them how to study. And you, good yeoman,
Whose limbs were made in America, show us here
The mettle of your pasture; let us swear
That you are worth your breeding; which I doubt not;
For there is none of you so mean and base,
That hath not noble lustre in your eyes.
I see you stand like greyhounds in the slips,
Straining upon the start. The game’s afoot:
Follow your spirit, and upon this charge
Cry ‘God for GPA, Degrees, and Future Employment!’

From the WSJ Law Blog:

The idea behind the site, which is the brainchild of recent George Mason law grad Josh Blackman, is simple: you pick the way you think the Supreme Court will rule on [...]]]> For all you law dorks who also love to gamble, there’s this. (Ahem, Dr. Bombay.)

From the WSJ Law Blog:

The idea behind the site, which is the brainchild of recent George Mason law grad Josh Blackman, is simple: you pick the way you think the Supreme Court will rule on its docket. You’re awarded points for picking the outcome of the case (whether the court affirms or reverses the lower court); the split (9-0, 8-1, 7-2, 6-3, 5-4, 4-1-4, or fragmented); as well as the justices in the majority and the justices in the dissent. It’s $5 or $10 to join, but the fee is waived for students, law clerks and unemployed attorneys.

At the end of the term, all the points accumulated will be tallied, and a winner decreed.

Source: Courtoons

It started something like this, “You know Cheney’s one of those people I’d punch in the face if I could.” (It actually might have been former Congressman Jim Sensenbrenner that got him going because of his role [...]]]> Sorry for starting the week so violently, but I had a funny conversation after my class on Saturday.

It started something like this, “You know Cheney’s one of those people I’d punch in the face if I could.” (It actually might have been former Congressman Jim Sensenbrenner that got him going because of his role in drafting the PATRIOT Act.)

You know what we’re talking about, though. People in politics or celebrities. Drivers you see every morning on your commute. Weathermen. Friends. Co-workers. Customer service representatives. People you have seen, read about or dealt with who deserve (in your infinitely qualified judgment) a good punch in the face because they drive so absolutely crazy.

That of course turned into (an appropriately qualified), “So if you could punch five currently living people in the face assuming they knew it was coming, had to stand still, and could not ever retaliate, who would be on your list? Hypothetically speaking of course for any of our NSA friends who might be listening.”

Violent? Sure. Fun to think about? Sure, if you’re stressed and currently harbor secret violent grudges against people. In other words, a perfect question for law students!

Who would you punch in the face?

I would punch these five people square in the face:

1. Local weather man Bob Ryan. Something about him just drives me crazy. It could have something to do with the fact that he shows me flooding in Arkansas instead of OUR LOCAL FORECAST. Of course, it might also have something to do with the fact that HE’S ALWAYS WRONG. (Thanks to my friend from class for reminding me of this one.)
2. CNN afternoon anchor Rick Sanchez. Just watch him, you’ll see what I mean. There’s a reason he’s on for an hour in the middle of the afternoon
3. The next Starbucks employee who asks me to try their instant coffee. If it’s not an Americano, Triple Grande Skim Latte, or a Venti Bold, keep that crap away from me and stop accosting me with yet another overpriced piece of crap. (Please, will someone open another decent coffee shop near me.)
4. Florida Congressman Alan Grayson. Look, I get it. You didn’t get enough attention as a boy and you’re ticked about Republicans exercising their first amendment rights against Democrats on health care. You want to paint them in an extreme light. Fair enough. But if you open your stupid mouth one more time to say that Republicans want people to die quicker because they disagree with you and defend that stance by saying “that’s just the truth,” I’ll stick a knuckle sandwich in there.
5. Anyone telling Sarah Palin to stay in the public spotlight. I couldn’t bring myself to punch Governor Palin myself, but if I got my hands on a person telling her things like “get your message out there,” and “the media was picking on you,” and “you’re what America needs” I might actually try to sneak two shots in.

DISCLAIMER FOR ALL YOU LITERALISTS OUT THERE: Don’t be stupid. DO NOT go out and punch these people in the face. Just don’t. It’s wrong. Plus they (or their security detail) WILL fight back. This is simply an invitation to relieve some stress by dreaming about doing it.

1. “Little Red Riding Hood” – Sam the Sham and the Pharos

2. “Werewolves of London” – Warren Zevon

3. “Dead Man’s Party” – Oingo Boingo

4. “Batman, Wolfman, Frankenstien, or [...]]]> So instead of unpacking the mysteries of the Bankruptcy Code, I find myself trying to put together the ultimate Halloween Mix. Here’s what I’ve come up with so far:

1. “Little Red Riding Hood” – Sam the Sham and the Pharos

2. “Werewolves of London” – Warren Zevon

3. “Dead Man’s Party” – Oingo Boingo

4. “Batman, Wolfman, Frankenstien, or Dracula” – The Diamonds

5. “Time Warp” – The Rocky Horror Picture Show

6. “It’s Over” – Tom Waits (the creepy version from the Liberty Heights soundtrack)

7. “Frankenstein” – The Edgar Winter Group (I’ll bet you didn’t even know that’s what it was called)

8. “Abracadabra” – The Steve Miller Band

9. “Black Cat” – The Ohio Players

10. “I Put a Spell on You” – Screamin’ Jay Hawkins

11. “The Ghost of Smokey Joe” – Cab Calloway

12. “St. James Infirmary” – Louis Armstrong

I’m soliciting reader selections. The basic criteria is that the songs should a) not suck, b) reference or evoke the mood of the season. Winning selection gets a prize to be determined later by the Editorial Staff. Anyone who suggests “Monster Mash” gets a punch in the neck.

see more Fail Blog

It’s unclear if Ms. Yoo is still practicing at Sullivan & Cromwell as her bio is no longer on the site.

(H/T Above the Law)